TMi

I'm really doing it. I'm really nothing-ing about. More or less just burning daylight.   Slacking off . Like a proper Dudeist priest ought to.  Now, in Mexico City of all places.  Even before I slipped off to D.F., I just sort of stopped doing- the things on my daily to-do list that I came up with to prove to myself that I am doing things.  Because- nothing matters.. but in that positive way, you know? At least not for me right now. I'm not even journal writing five hundred words a day.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I am writing- certainly I am, but it is in concert with a-  a game I am playing-  with a chat bot. It's a word word salad, choose your own adventure, role-play, text game. It's like the most amusing magic eight ball ever. You watch the three "currently typing" dots with such anticipation. You never know what the bot will come up with next or if it will even make sense in the context of the story you are building.  So that is my dirty secre

This month SoCal / Baja Cal weather has already given back so much water to the earth.   It is an unruly kindness to accept. Rain brings forth so much life even as it causes so much damage.   I think all our civil engineering ancestors would be ashamed if they knew how we still have not tamed water. And how uncivilized we are in general.   It will be fun to go out- when it is not a total mud hole to venture out- and see new green rioting across the usually dusty hills.   Even better will be seeing the flowers. The coils of razor wire are a bit more tolerable when you can look at some wild flowers blooming beneath it them. Flowers will appear in abundance anyway during this time of the year. In all the shops!  This is, after all, the month of bouquets- candy, and plushies. Mustn’t forget to mention the plushies! This month happens to also be an anniversary month. Conveniently. The trials of these last few years have been such a strain. I am not even ready to talk about where my relation

  It began with cold war Number Stations.  Because I have an interest in a wide array of things in life, I learned about number stations once upon a time.  Number stations are spots on the radio dial where operators send out information encrypted with a one-time pad cipher (or whatever) over the airwaves to be received and decoded by unknown parties for purposes unknown. This method of not-so-secret / secret communication has been going on from as far back as WW1. And is still going on.  I had this relatively useless information squirreled away in my head and I didn't think about it again until the end of 2023. Randomly, I discovered a Netherlands uni website that's set up to let you listen to all kinds of radio transmissions. And it's been amusing ever since.  Voices from around the World. Without any radio equipment of my own, I've been able to tune into voices connecting to each other from all over the globe.  CQ CQ calling CQ this is... Besides the host of the &#

Let us skip ahead. Deeper into the darkness.   Why not? There is so much to learn.

September became October. October slipped away from me completely. I was aware of it going. The days refused to match up with the numbers assigned to them. The clocks changed. My focus was on the next moment. And the next moment. Maybe the next day I'll feel better. Maybe the next day I'll get to be a person.  I should share more. That is what a blog is for.  TMI! Over-sharing! But what is the use of trying to explain?  If you aren't in and out of neuropathic hellholes, if you have never been in one, then you will not relate. You haven't the capability. I don't expect you would even try to imagine it. I can say this- Not all my days are bad days, but all of my days are not fully functional ones. While I go on wrestling with vastly decreased sense of self-worth, here is a clip to watch. It is part of some video art about my DFSP cancer I have been working on-  Ask me questions about the clip.  Check in with me. Help me keep on going.     

san miguel adventure fun time part six of six- para concluir I have no brain power any more today so I’m going to finish up this bloglet listicle style.  ( ¿qué? ) Here are some random final thoughts, random images, and a few places worth checking out if you are ever in the neighborhood. San Miguel is a tourist trap you WANT to be in!   It is a fantastic, safe place to visit in Mexico. Coming from a much rougher part of the country, I can’t find big negative things to say. Some have tried. They come off as incredibly spoiled. At times the level of hospitality made me want to cry. We stopped into the hotel next door to check out their cafe/bakery situation. We sat up on the roof and our server would walk up several flights of stairs every 20(?) minutes to see if we needed anything!  Travel light. Passport cards alone seem acceptable for domestic fights, but don’t press your luck. If you travel in the summer, be prepared for all the sun and some rain.  I cannot stress enough that you we

san miguel adventure fun time part five of six- siesta The major   take-aways: Pace yourself   Stay hydrated   TV is educational Around the 20th latitude, below the tropic of cancer, the summer sun is brutal. Even if there are clouds in the sky. (Don't you be fooled by those clouds!) When you get to the hottest part of the day, you just need to retreat somewhere cool. I did anyway.  As I am still trying to understand what being in good health means for me these days, I did not want to push my limits too far. I always kept a water bottle on me and reminded myself it was OK to say no to doing more. It's OK to do less . It is possible to while away bright hours in one of the many coffee shops in the historic center. Some are even located on rooftop terraces! Terraces are a ‘thing’ in San Miguel. The views are quite lovely. But I wouldn’t be up on the rooftops for very long in the middle of the day. Indoors, under the protection of stone is so much better. I hate to say it, but we