It's the time of year to do it, but looking back is so, so difficult for me. I don't want to reread my blog entries or my e-journal. It hurts me to see how my life has gone. My life is just going away from me... Along with my e-journaling, I keep a physical day planner. An object in the real world I use to prove to / remind myself that I do things during the course of a day and that I am not just this lump that is taking up space- except I am this lump that is taking up space- So anyway, I have this day planner i can flip through; if I can endure it: very early in the year I was already wondering why I bothered keeping an account when every day is so much the same small potatoes as every day my eyes skitter over the dubious penmanship that improves or degrades depending on how I am doing physically and emotionally FML repeats on many pages I recorded numerous nights when I did not sleep well enough to function I listed the many days when I took antibiotics I l