TMi

"Great men are not born great, they grow great." - Don Vito Corleon This is some crazy auspicious month this year with so many overlapping holiday observances– and an eclipse– With a sprinkling of social unrest in Mexico. I'm writing from Mexico. When they kind of do hits on cartel bosses it does kind of does ripple out to people who aren't directly involved.  (Fun fact! I used to bank with Wachovia. Look them up. They were accused of money laundering for Mexican drug cartels. So... I have been involved.) Taking it back down from a global scale, the month is dedicated self-love. And nothing says sexy good times more than dental work! We must keep a Cronenberg / Clive Barker perspective on sensuality, no? Ok, if that is too much for you, then just think of it as self-care and maintenance. I continue my healing journey with a discomfiting jaunt to the dentists chair to have cavities addressed, crowns replaced, and best / worst of all three posts inserted int...

  W elpy-welp. I’ve officially arrived at the ass end of the snake year. The boulevard outside my door was soaked in pooling sewer filth from the 27th of December to about January 20th. The snake has incontinence in it’s old age. Or it is terrified of the coming hooves of the next year. I remember once being at a picnic with my family on some bright New England day. I don't know who spotted it, but we– us kids got excited about finding a snake nearby. I believe I was the quickest one and was able to catch the garter snake with my hands. I did not keep hold of it for very long. It was terrified of being snatched up out of the grass by a child and it wet me in defense. And it 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓀 . I remember the talk turn immediately to best practices for nullifying strong animal odors, skunk smells especially. Tomato juice seemed to be top of the list. We did not have that available– and perhaps orange juice was used instead? I have trouble remembering if it was me who actually caught a wild...

artist: Peter Halley At the top of this month I went to Art Basel Miami. Not the whole Miami art week extra satellite show whateverness, but the Art Basel Miami fair itself. There were over 280 booths full of eye candy to match that vase you have or that vice you have. Oh, OK, it wasn't all vacuous. I remember seeing a large circular wall hanging that caught my attention because it was made out of hammered bullet casings arranged to look like scales on a shield– the offensive killing thing made into a beautiful defensive thing. I liked that. I needed to carry that beautiful defense with me to block out the dog and donkey shows in the “new media” section though. I am sure you can guess the dog reference. It was all over the new outlets stealing undeserved attention. Unfortunately, there was another exhibit that was even more... 'adding to the problem.'  Just imagine being too poor to live in your own country, and this artless cryptobrosephus billionaire is standing next to...

That I have been depressed and bitter for the past few months is understating.  Perhaps I should have remained silent for having nothing nice to say, but no. I have to go on being that wretched thing trying to express itself; a thing all determined to make monthly posts to prove that it is steadfast in a... craft. And if it's trash, then it's trash. That was my best at the time. Everyone has to take a shit. I too will be forgiven for stinking up a room?  These days have been brighter and I can share what my dopamine depression distraction was this time. My hormonal state was balanced enough for me to nudge back toward educational amusement; which got me to where my goring complaints about existence could lose their brute force, and the knife throwing more nerfed than dodgeball. Heh, my complaints would have sparkling  brut  force then? Languages are fascinating. I can and do get caught up in thinking about the way people attach sounds to objects, ideas, acti...

Photo by Tara Winstead Another month. Another block of time in which stress tries to distresses me into a smaller state of being. Given the [colorful negative descriptor insert] situations here, there, and everywhere, it's been one more rough month for my mental health. My original post was going to delve into the hows and whys it's of this mental health roughness– hit you with the TMI of PMDD and other ugliness of my long recovery– I wrote out a whole post then I scrapped it; wrote another post, and scrapped that; deleted the bulk of this post, rewrote it twenty times because: "I don't write s'good, 'n' less good after what-all I've been through. I ain't good. I ain't– I don't got the it. I just don't. My thinkin' don't got no more ken. Must be... It's them inexcapable facts o'bein' stricken-like. Plus goin' unesteemed by them uppities. It's a why I can't get no renumerate. I'm broke flat. Just no goo...

In southern California / Baja California it has been very humid and rainy this month which unusual, in my experience.  I suppose it's part of the weather shift the call La Niña... Aw, look at me talking about the weather! How cute.  I'm avoiding US theee sociopolitical discussions by talking about the weather.   Or am I? Is this code? Sure it's code!  All language is code, silly-goose-head! The code word I thought about "virtue-signaling" for in this post was some made-up thing called... oh what is it now... Empathy? Yes, empathy. I got that right.  But then I self-censored.  It's been a wild month. I'm having a lot of thoughts that aren't productive (I want to be dead) and strong feelings that make my arguments appear less than thought out (except they really are).  I mean, people, look, it's not a common occurrence for me to have work I made get targeted by the White House to be censored. I'm not used to h...