TMi

Let us skip ahead. Deeper into the darkness.   Why not? There is so much to learn.

I've been in lockdown for a month. An itch to cross the border comes over me now once in a while, but with about 2000 known cases of the virus in the San Diego county, why would I want to go up there? After all, I could remain south of the border, where there is no accurate count of the spread and everyone is in blissful ignorance to the extent of it. The official numbers seem unreasonably low for the state of Baja. But how will we ever know? Even with the internet you can't find all the news. Or hide it. Whether it's horse hockey or not.  And there is so much of this horse hockey coming at me from all sides. From people who mean well. And people who I thought had better uh- discernment. While I have never parented a child, I feel like this is a small taste of what it's like to be one. You have to sift through everyone else's opinions on how best to take care of life .  It's such a weight of unneeded energies bearing down on a person. Why not smother people in t...

Wednesday I went to Tijuana and then across into San Diego. I didn't exactly know it at the time, but it turns out that was the last time I'll be making the crossing for at least a month. The border will be closed to 'non-essential' travel by midnight Friday- today. It seemed like there were too many people outside even though it was pishing doon off and on all day. And, oh, there is supposed to be this highly contagious, potentially deadly virus going around. It was like folks were furiously trying to pretend nothing different is happening in their little end of the world. The rain has been abundant recently, so at one point the car had to turn around and get on the toll road because of flooding. The border crossing took about 40 minutes. Not a long time, but not that quick either. The wet US roadways buzzed and hissed with drivers also desperately pretending nothing is changed; the pretending was so hardcore that there was a two car smash up on the fre...

Monday we had The Rocco put to sleep. By Tuesday his grave was dug and his body interred between two bougainvillea bushes. Not far from La Cookie [ 1 ] [ 2 ].     When Rocco came to the house, he had a big bark and a mean bite. He was an unruly  street rescue. And was by no means a tea cup poodle.  I had to keep my distance from him for the longest time.   Rocco’s main purpose was to be the household guard and alarm system.  He looked the part. He sounded the part. He did his job well- most of the time.  He liked to think he was a expert by the way he would trot back inside all self-satisfied after a good barking. During the middle of the day. After he was told to stop it already and come back inside. Because the startled women with their baby strollers weren't a threat. It took him a while, but when he figured out who his pack was, he turned out to be a big softy under all that woof power. He would escape...

  Who got theyself out to Nuebo Yorq last month? Was it meee?! It was unusually rough in the time leading up to this trip to New York though. There was certainly some energy against us at the beginning. I felt absolutely miserable about going. For no identifiable reason. Hugo was overly anxious about his show, and just before our departure, sure enough, our bad feelings about everything manifested. But once we were on the ground and jumping into the work that thing- that force wanned into the background, it's teeth blunted. Hopefully, it got what it all that it wanted... A small sacrifice to the What-Evers for something much better? There are already signs of better things to come. Hugo was offered another shot at showing in Miami. That means in a few short weeks we will be back on the east coast looking out indifferently at more palm trees. Oh, and installing a mural framed video projection. There might also be some, you know, huge art fairs happening too. Staying ...

Before I came down with a cold for my birthday, I took a day trip- no, this was  definitely a road trip- out to Mexicali. Why? I hadn't been there! And I had a chance to go. Simple enough.  What I knew about this city was hearsay: the only thing you can do in Mexicali is be hot, drink beer to not be so hot, but end up just being drunk and hot. And eat famously good Chinese food. Stopping at a Starbucks in the city to use the toilet and the wifi,  (my dudes, that is all Starbucks actually exist for in this dimention)  I did notice a distinct spike in the number Chinese/Chinese-Mexican people in the coffee shop. There had better be amazing Chinese food around here then, right? And did I even try any comida china? HA! Of course not! Why, would I EVER do that?!  I opted for a vegan place . (It was Asian fusion food, ok?!) The atmosphere was a little weird because they were in the middle of moving locations, but the food w...

moon, palms, cement wall : Mexico

After breakfast, I spent the whole morning cleaning up mouse droppings and eradicating a whole mess of ant scouts making a move into the house - and  into my clothes! The mouse has been taken care of already, but I didn't realized it had been exploring the whole house! There was shit everywhere! So that all had to be cleaned up.. Then I sprayed some toxic floral smelling crap around to take care of the ants and we have been bug free all afternoon. More or less. I was so pissed off about the mouse shit, the ants, and that I was left to do the whole job by myself that I got the whole job done all by myself. What a way to use one's moody nature to accomplish things! Go Dark Side!

So I walk away. When the birds chirping outside of the window put me on edge- I know I have to do something... else. I put all of my work aside (that was making me cry too). I go for a long, long walk from one end of Rosarito Beach to the other and all the way back to my hovel by way of the main road. Maybe 6 miles all together.  Did it clear my head? Yeah, I think I put my dopamine level up to a point where I can enjoy watching Seven and wonder about making a performance art piece with these bags of Cheetos that I spotted in the  Smart & Final  that were so big, I could have gotten in one of them! Can you imagine?! 3 kg of Cheetos.. All that orange pseudo cheese.. It would be amazing! BTW - This is my idea! If you steal this idea, you had better do a really fab performance with it! muted palate it's nothing like Ireland This sunshine Does the light of day  really make you bett...

There are crickets in my office. So there are predatory mice hunting the crickets in my office. This is not an office. ```` Thank you random outrageous stomach ache for slowing me down today. Because of you I was able to watch a very interesting piece about Saudi Arabia by British journalist  Frank Gardner . Because of you I was able to read/skim a fictional story about Native American lycanthropy that had been untouched in my iBooks and then delete for being subpar. Perhaps something by Dostoyevsky next? Looking on the bright side does not make my stomach feel any better. Drinking mint tea is not making my stomach feel better. ```` Verification captcha of the day: fine indoses

I saw a horse on this beach. It was the same color as all the colors you see in the picture accompanying this text. The horse was the whole beach itself running around and around on a lead. In the late afternoon sun the animal was shifting between rusted metal, pale smoke, misty blue sky, wet and dry sand, sloppy dark mud, visible and invisible. If I had been able to take a picture of it, you would not have seen it anyway.

A pedestrian unfriendly walk up the road from where I lived in Webster MA, is this place with a fantastical name-  Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg. The Lake.  These are some pics from last summer that I found in a hard drive. There is magic in Webster, but there is also great, overpowering darkness (ignorance) so those brief moments of glamour are all the more astonishing.