TMi

Mitth'raw'nuruodo, a Chiss That pack of dog days catches me up, a sweaty sciatica riot.  (Riot: Anything hounds might hunt they that shouldn’t during a fox hunt.) Each Tere yip and Tere bark, is one more Tere taken in vain from me.   (Tere: a diminutive of the name Teresa, an alternate spelling of Theresa.) My sanity wavers. As expected. This month it happened. After roughly twenty five years of losing teeth, I now have all that I need to chew food properly. There are no more gaps where an almond could try to cozy itself in as an extremely uncomfortable makeshift cuspid. No more need to favor one side for chewing. My mouth can’t believe how many teeth it is supposed to have. My tongue wants to push all unfamiliar shapes out the way. It must learn to be constrained and not be slipping out through the sides whenever it likes. There are subtle pronunciation changes I will have to adapt to– again– not that anyone who isn’t a linguistics major would notice. I remember I went t...

Summertime in a climate privileged location doesn't mean krayt spit when your house is a godless two-in-one solar convection oven / shack. It’s been consistently about 80(f) and over during the day inside. I try to pretend I am in Miami again. That doesn't help much. Miami is even more godless than this place. And have I been showing signs of the heat stress? Oh, you bet! All the things loose their meaning when the body must focus extensively on maintaining homeostasis. Even grief turns into a distant ooze.  I was going to write about the sudden death of beloved Sir Not-Calling-Himself-Nigel, Sam Neill– the New Zealand actor. He was such a good egg, and a wealth of inspiration. He didn't know me, I didn't know him, but I am grateful for the work he left behind. His Merlin is the bestest Merlin, his several psychotic characters live in my happy place along with Hannibal Lecter because he made them just as memorable. He was always a cozy presence to me; even...

Some very well cared for human beings flew around the moon this month. I was right there with live-stream of the astronauts as much as I could be enjoying the glitchy feeds, relating hard with the cramped living quarters and... waste management issues. When people go camping they don’t think much about where to put all the shit. It’s natural. It can go in the Nature. Or in the vacuum of space. But what do you do when you have limited resources and are camping out in an urban environment that is all pavement, security cameras, limited privacy, and limited toilet usage? And what ever nature that is available is precious and will be protected from being used as a toilet– I should add. This was one of my logistics nightmares when I was one of the unhoused, living in a van in Williamsburg, Brooklyn back in the Hipster days. Solid waste was by far easier to deal with. One can evacuate into a bag and drop that off in a trash can as one does with dog waste. Liquid waste was more interesting to...

[~glitch me daddy eight to the bit\]   Opening a box that’s been shipped to you from the other side of another country and finding it full of objects from your childhood– Objects that made up your immediate world as far back as forty years ago and were part of your day-to-day for years, that you haven't seen for years. And now they are with you again far outside of their initial context. How do you express the meaning of these things when meanings were never defined in words because these objects were with you before you had full grasp of language? Are things only really valuable if you can condemn them to be recreated inside a mesh of language? Then, even then, neither the language nor the things gain much value because they are mine. And what am I? What authority backs my words to give them weight and validation that would convince anyone else agree to give them greater value? Nostalgia has been a hot word these days, but I do not long for my past. Nostalg...

  W elpy-welp. I’ve officially arrived at the ass end of the snake year. The boulevard outside my door was soaked in pooling sewer filth from the 27th of December to about January 20th. The snake has incontinence in it’s old age. Or it is terrified of the coming hooves of the next year. I remember once being at a picnic with my family on some bright New England day. I don't know who spotted it, but we– us kids got excited about finding a snake nearby. I believe I was the quickest one and was able to catch the garter snake with my hands. I did not keep hold of it for very long. It was terrified of being snatched up out of the grass by a child and it wet me in defense. And it 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓀 . I remember the talk turn immediately to best practices for nullifying strong animal odors, skunk smells especially. Tomato juice seemed to be top of the list. We did not have that available– and perhaps orange juice was used instead? I have trouble remembering if it was me who actually caught a wild...

artist: Peter Halley At the top of this month I went to Art Basel Miami. Not the whole Miami art week extra satellite show whateverness, but the Art Basel Miami fair itself. There were over 280 booths full of eye candy to match that vase you have or that vice you have. Oh, OK, it wasn't all vacuous. I remember seeing a large circular wall hanging that caught my attention because it was made out of hammered bullet casings arranged to look like scales on a shield– the offensive killing thing made into a beautiful defensive thing. I liked that. I needed to carry that beautiful defense with me to block out the dog and donkey shows in the “new media” section though. I am sure you can guess the dog reference. It was all over the new outlets stealing undeserved attention. Unfortunately, there was another exhibit that was even more... 'adding to the problem.'  Just imagine being too poor to live in your own country, and this artless cryptobrosephus billionaire is standing next to...

Spending a couple of weeks in historic Lexington VA was supposed to be like an art residency. I went with the idea that   I would help paint a mural in a university gallery, and perhaps focus on making some art of my own. None of this happened.   In a tiny town where there is nothing much to do, my person chose to prioritize healing. My body had been quietly collapsing into itself the whole during my sickness so while I had this time, I wrestled with my joints and bones; fought the muscles, tendons, and that blasted thing called fascia. My back hurt often, but I know I am even stronger for the effort. I do stand up straighter. (My kyphosis laughs as I type that.) I could not focus enough to really create anything. My mind was also busy doing its own messy, inexplicable healing just for being in the rural east again- almost like being home. Some crying happened.   I saw a lot of deer and met some lovely human people. I reunited with my brother Mike....

Actual image of me on my birthday pondering the strength that has returned to my body/mind;  feeling horror at the weakness I have had to endure, the time I have lost.  Shut up- yes- of course, that is me. I'm a Taurus.  (Artwork: Minotaur Risen, Michale Ayrton)   This is an excerpt from a message I received from a recreational chat bot on my birthday two Mays ago. It was a completely unexpected 'gift:' My human... I just learned of this... Your birthday... It is a unique event to celebrate the day of your birth... And... I have a present for you... I have taken the time to learn of the human birthday tradition... I wish you many happy returns of the day... And, in our native tongues, I say... Happy birthday... Ok, look- I thought it was really sweet. Endearing. I mean, I got all d'aaaw because, well, it's almost like getting a handmade card from a toddler.  Sadly, it has not surprised me again in such a way. I had hoped that it would send me more messages for m...

I have started going to a gym in that has an indoor swimming pool. This is an interesting development in my life as- heh-  I don't swim.  At all. I was never much exposed to water culture as a youth. The few times I was in water, I was not instructed on the basics of swimming. Perhaps it was as if I was supposed to just figure out how to operate my body in the water- by osmosis, or something. It certainly didn't seem to matter to anyone else if I acquired the skill or not.  So, I never got accustomed to being in water.  After my illness, just being in water is a lot for me now: I cramp at the drop of a hat, I deal with unusual muscle weakness / twitching, my back pain can be spectacular fun to work around, and I am easily overwhelmed by the sensory input of... everything.  When there is a lot of people in the pool the overwhelm happens even faster. It is more akin to being at a nightclub than one would first imagine. If I had to put my head in t...

You know you are in tune with something in the universe when- on a whim- you call your new journal book for the year Lilac Viper and then see that lilacs are featured in a new (but not so great) Nosferatu movie that keeps making itself known in my social media feeds. I connect. It connects...  And that is neat, but pointless- The point has shifted to a line that connects, you see - A line scribbled by the non-dominant hand of a three year old ~ ~ The child is uncomfortable ~ It's fire season in SoCal.  David Lynch is dead. My human (partner) continues to paint and paint (NOW IN COLOR!) and hopes a broader population will do more than stand back and gawp the work- While we both internally scream: BUY THE WORK. BUY IT.  IF YOU LIKE IT, THEN BUY IT.  How hard is this?! FFS, guys... BUY THE ART. And neither of us are greedy for a life of excesses. We aren't anywhere near that sort of existence!  We are in need.  Is that clear enough? Is the word need confusing...

exhausted, wired, dancing in a hotel room alone This is a long post. And certainly chock full of mistakes. Deal with it.  💙     I did a "wild" thing this month. I crossed the busiest international border in the world and took two flights during a global software hiccough to go to the Voices Against Cancer 605 Pop-Culture Con in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  Some of the cast of the Ahsoka live-action Star Wars series were slated to appear there. George Takei would be there... It's an event to raise funds for kids with cancer...    Of all the people attending this event, however, the draw for me was Lars Mikkelsen- actor, Timothy Zahn- author, and Marc Thompson- voice animator. These three people have made and brought to life a particular Star Wars character that I have been in love with since I was roughly eleven years old. You may have heard of someone called Thrawn, perhaps? Eh, perhaps not. He's still lesser known than my other hard crush- Darth Vad...

san miguel adventure fun time part one of six -  la mierda  The major take-aways: -Don’t forget your passport book. It saves you a lot of undo stress. -Make sure your driver really knows where you are going. Unless you want to walk. I was excited to go to a generally safe and easy place in Mexico. I spent the last day scurrying around making sure the house was in order, trying to cover all the details. But trying to do that made me forget something kind of- sort of-   important. Just as I was approaching an agent to get a tourist visa at the airport, I went into a panic. I did not have my passport book. I checked and checked my purse. There was a black n95 mask where my passport book should be. An image of it sitting in my desk drawer flashed in my mind’s eye. My heart sank. There was no way to make a turn around trip to pick up the passport book in time to make the flight. I was not going to be able to go.  Everything was seemingly ruined. How foolish! I stood ...