Saturday, June 7, 2014

Getting Enough Space to Have Bad Dreams

No one looks forward to having bad dreams. They are an uncomfortable business that can sour your whole day. It isn't expected that a soft bed in a pleasant hotel room in sunny Spain turns out out to be the gateway to the dark, chaotic subconscious. But there I was, on vacation, for my birthday, and having terrible dreams.  Negatives aside, they can be as much of a learning tool as anything else, if you pay attention to them. And I didn't find it so very queer to be having them- given my circumstances. I have come to the age where I am supposed to have built up something: a career, a business, a family- something. I feel I have nothing and am steadily, stubbornly moving forward making absolutely no headway.
My brain is grappling with the obscure 'path' I am on and the lack of common markers that are found in most people's lives. So of course the very moment I "get away from it all' the demons appear. I finally got the space enough to deal with them.
I remembered enough of three separate dreaming events to write down the parts that clung to my waking mind:
Without hitting all the details, my first dream centered on the loss of a tooth; the second was the most intense: I confronted my inner chaos (again); the third dream was being in a n earthquake. Then I would come back to a world of tourist traps, deep fried calamari that look like onion rings, maid service and marvelous espressos.

Even now that I am back in the West, these last two nights I've had dreams. One was about losing even more teeth.

I haven't sorted it out yet.