Image Source: Engin Akyurt from Pexels . Edited by tm Looking at the rest of the year now and everything is tinged with dread- Dread, the other weighted blanket! I am not looking forward to anything any more this year. I am not excited about events coming up in my life. I am not happy about any of the trips I will be taking. I am not being creative. There is no creativity here. There is no talent here. There is nothing here. I am not thrilled about turning forty. What have I lived this long for? My anxiety/depression is getting worse. My PMDD is getting worse. I want to be dead. Death will come soon enough. A little more on the topic of dread; manly, geeky Hollywood style I've tried so hard. I don't know why I am trying any more. Please tell me how I have made a positive impact in your life because I'm pretty sure I'm a ghost. I don't think I have had any major impact on anything. Remind me that I am more than just some matter sort of of taking up