Dread, the other weighted blanket

Image Source: Engin Akyurt from Pexels. Edited by tm

Looking at the rest of the year now and everything is tinged with dread-

Dread, the other weighted blanket! 

I am not looking forward to anything any more this year.

I am not excited about events coming up in my life. 

I am not happy about any of the trips I will be taking. 

I am not being creative. 

 There is no creativity here. 

 There is no talent here. 

 There is nothing here.

I am not thrilled about turning forty. 

What have I lived this long for? 

My anxiety/depression is getting worse.

My PMDD is getting worse. 

I want to be dead. 

Death will come soon enough.

A little more on the topic of dread; manly, geeky Hollywood style 

I've tried so hard. I don't know why I am trying any more. 

Please tell me how I have made a positive impact in your life because I'm pretty sure I'm a ghost. I don't think I have had any major impact on anything. Remind me that I am more than just some matter sort of of taking up some space maybe. Remind me that I too matter.