TMi

Mitth'raw'nuruodo, a Chiss That pack of dog days catches me up, a sweaty sciatica riot.  (Riot: Anything hounds might hunt they that shouldn’t during a fox hunt.) Each Tere yip and Tere bark, is one more Tere taken in vain from me.   (Tere: a diminutive of the name Teresa, an alternate spelling of Theresa.) My sanity wavers. As expected. This month it happened. After roughly twenty five years of losing teeth, I now have all that I need to chew food properly. There are no more gaps where an almond could try to cozy itself in as an extremely uncomfortable makeshift cuspid. No more need to favor one side for chewing. My mouth can’t believe how many teeth it is supposed to have. My tongue wants to push all unfamiliar shapes out the way. It must learn to be constrained and not be slipping out through the sides whenever it likes. There are subtle pronunciation changes I will have to adapt to– again– not that anyone who isn’t a linguistics major would notice. I remember I went t...

Summertime in a climate privileged location doesn't mean krayt spit when your house is a godless two-in-one solar convection oven / shack. It’s been consistently about 80(f) and over during the day inside. I try to pretend I am in Miami again. That doesn't help much. Miami is even more godless than this place. And have I been showing signs of the heat stress? Oh, you bet! All the things loose their meaning when the body must focus extensively on maintaining homeostasis. Even grief turns into a distant ooze.  I was going to write about the sudden death of beloved Sir Not-Calling-Himself-Nigel, Sam Neill– the New Zealand actor. He was such a good egg, and a wealth of inspiration. He didn't know me, I didn't know him, but I am grateful for the work he left behind. His Merlin is the bestest Merlin, his several psychotic characters live in my happy place along with Hannibal Lecter because he made them just as memorable. He was always a cozy presence to me; even...

I've been in lockdown for a month. An itch to cross the border comes over me now once in a while, but with about 2000 known cases of the virus in the San Diego county, why would I want to go up there? After all, I could remain south of the border, where there is no accurate count of the spread and everyone is in blissful ignorance to the extent of it. The official numbers seem unreasonably low for the state of Baja. But how will we ever know? Even with the internet you can't find all the news. Or hide it. Whether it's horse hockey or not.  And there is so much of this horse hockey coming at me from all sides. From people who mean well. And people who I thought had better uh- discernment. While I have never parented a child, I feel like this is a small taste of what it's like to be one. You have to sift through everyone else's opinions on how best to take care of life .  It's such a weight of unneeded energies bearing down on a person. Why not smother people in t...

Ask me what I did in 2017.  I can tell you that I got a big raise. I can say I was on international TV. I  took trips to New Orleans and Montreal, Canada. I spent some time in L.A.  I performed on stages. I made stop motion videos shown in an art gallery...  I can also say that my body was artistic all on it's own. It   grew a tumor. This thing appeared overnight in February. It itched occasionally. It was something I could actually feel change inside my skin. For a little while I even thought it might be a parasite.  Since It was located on my chest I, naturally, went to have it checked out at a 'boob clinic.'  The woman who 'saw' me went on to make backhanded insinuations that I was overreacting. I guess, to her,  I was just behaving like so many hysterical women who come running into the clinic and waste time fussing with every little thing. Because they read too much on the Internet.  Yeah. This super...

I am no tarot card expert but I have come to this conclusion:  The Hanged Man card is most representational of the Film Extra. A modern deck could include a card called Film Extra and it would still be all about surrender, non-action, yielding... Extras are things fluctuating between living beings and set props- Between subject and object- stalled out between heaven and earth. They are 'bound' hurriedly in costume and makeup then left hang around waiting. When they find a comfort zone something is undoubtedly changed and they are forced to redefine their comfort levels yet again. They are able to see the value of hanging around. Their vantage points are always unusual, surreal.  Many of my days since the beginning of this year have gone into being "awake" and present in this place of suspension. Ready and waiting no matter what the hour. Stuck on the set. Or in holding- which is never too far from the set.  My reward for this? I play make-pretends wit...

To all the gaming/ comic book/ sci-fi/ fantasy/ cartoon/ graphic novel/ anime/ BRONY(!)/ conventions with corporate sponsors, 'famous people' appearances, press agencies, advertising campaigns and spending budgets well over the few pesos that these young people have- I say-   SUCK IT. The success of this little convention was that it happened at all: not the tally of thousands that passed through or how much money it made back. this event was like a fair at school, but the kids, for kids they were, had taken over an almost abandoned mall to, because they are brought up as humble Mexicans, respectfully run amok. There were attempts at costumes, but you could see that these kids were lucky to have a pink wig to don or a deck of cards to play and trade with.  They served bento lunches in a Tijuana sort of way and the music was alright, as I recall. (Except deafening. Thank the gods for ear plugs! Borrowed as they were. Ick.) 

I am so very fortunate to have been able to travel to NYC twice in one summer! This is madhattery with the income I have. But that is the way I have been doing everything since stumbling out into this modern world. Scared senseless about all the tiny details and blundering onward. More travel was intended this year but nothing more is on the horizon now. The slate wiped clean again. I am back in Baja regrouping, getting over a cold (thanks Dan ), buried in virtual piles office work, and trying to find new daydreams to follow through with. Move or Die echos in my under-hearing. And oh yes, you should have seen me go from zero (chills, body aches, feverish mental state) to frelling pissed off like a rutting stag at an all male review ready to gore anything that moves funny. I probably just generated a cancer in the process... but there it went.. this rage.. ripping me right out of the duuuh. And why? Well I don't know why it was so intense but I was supposed to be convalescing...

Hannibal