Nature Hates Me

Happy March everyone?

It's that time when we all reflect upon Julius Caesar's wild death, palm frond crosses, and... leprechauns. 

And I guess we should all take the time to think back on a whole year of stupidity driven global pandemic.

By the way - HAVE YOU DONE THAT YET?!

Personally, it's been a weird start to 2021. 

I was off like a bolt and then the ground fell away. I've propelled myself forward as a ghost since maybe about the middle of January.

It was around mid-January when my body started telling me there was something wrong. 

But it did not tell me very clearly what was wrong. 

Most of my symptoms could be written off as any other thing else. 

I thought I was just extra stressed out from having to meet a deadline.  

Silly me. I was extra stressed because I was sick!

When I found myself suffering stomach discomforts that would not go away, I knew I had to see a gastro doc. 

Fluids were sent off to be tested and-

To everyone's 'shock' and 'horror,' 

I was rocking not one but THREE different bacterial infections.

HhhOOOOOOWWWWwww?!

WHY?!

It could have been contaminated air. It could have been contaminated veggies. 

I am even wondering if that spider bite on my knee from last year wasn't as clean as I hoped. 

I will always be wondering at this point.

My body managed itself kinda OK with three infections. 

Not once did I spike a fever.

It wasn't until I started taking prescribed antibiotics that I began to feel like complete and utter garbage town. Some more of the harder symptoms hit me then. Fire stomach in the middle of the night is one thing, but the all day zombie fatigue⁺ is another.

Besides zombie fatigue the shopping list of hellish symptoms has been like this:

• night sweats
• body aches
• swollen joints
• weakness
• sore neck/swollen glands
• random back pains
• headaches 
• memory lapses
• weight loss
• panic attacks
• mood swings
• brain fog
• depression
• clumsiness
• arthritis

My immune system was so occupied that I didn't just get a tiny cold sore. Oh, no. That would be far too unpretentious! That wouldn't be nearly as dramatic as, say, flowering a wart- on MY FACE. 

Why do I have a wart on my face? What year is this? 

Why am I turning into The Wicked Witch Of The South West™ over here? 

Oh- yeah- never mind. Nature hates me.

Fortunately, I had the wart removed and my follow-up blood test had shown improvement.

So things are looking up then?

Who can say?

There is one thing I know for certain: I am not running out the door any time soon to get a covid vaccine.

I've been having more good hours than bad hours. (I have yet to have a whole good day.) 

The herbal supplements must be paying off, I guess. I have not yet been put on another round of antibiotics yet.

There are moments when I forget that I am fighting off bacterial invaders, and then a twinge in the guts, or an ice pick feeling in my skull will remind me that I am hardly in charge of my life.  My tiny overlords don't make their occupation fun.  

My hands have been constantly swollen for days now. I have a hard time holding small things and opening jars. It's frustrating. 

All of this is frustrating. To feel the the quality of my life diminish even further in such minute, mediocre ways... I... can't...

I'm having a hard time. In all honesty, I am depressed af. 

So, here's to a happier April!

Because living in the moment is flapdoodle!

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